


Disproportionate Retribution

by atamascolily



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Legends - All Media Types
Genre: Based on a Tumblr Post, Crack, Gen, Humor, mara has strong opinions about cake and fairness, smuggler break room shenanigans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-14
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-22 16:49:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30041763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/atamascolily/pseuds/atamascolily
Summary: "We'resmugglers," Aves said defensively, doing his best not to flinch under Mara's penetrating stare. "Since when do we follow rules foranything,let alone cake?"
Comments: 8
Kudos: 14





	Disproportionate Retribution

**Author's Note:**

> Based on [this tumblr post](https://giuggiulu.tumblr.com/post/638853181719429120/every-morning-the-people-around-me-wake-up-and)
> 
> Thanks again to virusq for additional suggestions to add to the hilarity.

Mara Jade's shout from the break room was loud enough to be heard throughout the entire Myrkr base. Aves, whose office was just around the corridor, was the first on scene.

"You okay, Mara?" he said cautiously, poking his head around the door frame as if preparing for a firefight.

Mara gestured to the platter of cake on the counter, more agitated than Aves had ever seen her. "I came in here to get a refill of caf and thought I'd have a piece of cake while I was at it, but look at this! Just _look_ at this!"

"Uh..." Throwing caution to the wind, Aves stepped into the room, taking in the partially-eaten platter of cake on the counter, with a knife balanced precariously on one edge. Was this supposed to be a trick question? "It's... Corellian rhyscate, right? You allergic or something?"

"Come on, Aves, you're smarter than that," Mara snarled. "Try again."

Aves racked his brains. "Was it yours?" he hazarded. "Is _that_ what you're mad about? If you didn't want to share with everyone, you should have put your name on it or something--"

Mistake. Mara's eyes flashed and she leveled the knife at him. "So _you_ were the one who did this?"

"Did what?"

He couldn't help flinching a little as Mara waved the knife in agitation. "You cut the cake like _this_ \--"

Aves looked a little closer. On second glance it was clear that whoever had taken them had an... unorthodox way of going about it. Instead of neat wedges, all that remained of the once-circular cake was a single, Y-shaped section with three narrow prongs radiating outward from a tiny central chunk.

"No, it wasn't me," Aves said, aware that Mara was waiting impatiently for his answer. "Sure, it's a little unusual, but it probably still tastes the same, right?"

"That's not how it _works_ ," Mara snarled. "This is an abomination of common sense and good thinking--not to mention _cake_ \--and I can't believe you don't see that--"

"We're _smugglers_ ," Aves said defensively, doing his best not to flinch under Mara's penetrating stare. "Since when do we follow rules for _anything,_ let alone cake?"

Any reply Mara might have made was lost as Ghent shuffled into the room, spewing a trail of crumbs in his wake. "Oh, hi, Mara, Aves," he said with his mouth full as he poured himself a cup of caf. "Did you try the cake? It's really good--oh," he added as Mara rounded on him.

"Are _you_ the creature responsible for this?" Mara demanded, gesturing to the offending dessert.

Ghent, as usual, wilted at the first sign of danger. "Um, yeah? Is that not allowed or something?"

" _You_! I ought to have _known_ \-- _You_ left this absurdly proportioned piece so you wouldn't have to wash the plate, didn't you?"

"Sure," Ghent said. "I mean, who doesn't, right? But Dankin told me that you hated the edges because they tasted burned, so I tried to leave the best bits for you--"

Mara was sputtering with incoherent rage. "Just because you sliced a crime syndicate's network into pieces does not mean you're allowed to cut a cake like this--

Aves decided that was his cue to leave. Whatever happened next was not his problem. _Definitely_ not his problem.

He made a point of snagging the remaining portion of cake on his way out, as Mara and Ghent were too busy arguing with each other to notice. Not only was it good smuggler protocol to destroy the evidence of a crime, he thought as he retreated back to his office, there was no sense in letting perfectly good cake go to waste.

"What's going on?" Dankin said, stopping him in the hallway outside the break room.

Aves shook his head. "Trust me, you don't want to know."

"Oh, but I do," Dankin said eagerly. "Is this about the cake? I trolled Ghent by telling him Mara liked it that way after he kept annoying me all afternoon, but I didn't think he'd _actually_ do it--"

Aves sighed. _So much for workplace harmony._

__

He shut the door firmly to his office to block out the strangled shouts emanating from the break room as best he could. The cake was delicious despite its unusual shape--or perhaps because of it. He would never admit it to her face, but Mara was definitely missing out.

__


End file.
